


Enough

by emma_rose_taylor



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Based on a Dear Evan Hansen Song, Dear Evan Hansen References, F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22033063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emma_rose_taylor/pseuds/emma_rose_taylor
Summary: A songfic written for a gift exchange.Offers both Newt and Tina’s thoughts on their budding feelings for each other
Relationships: Tina Goldstein/Newt Scamander
Kudos: 14





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BananaChef](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BananaChef/gifts).



> Happy New Year’s Eve! I wrote a songfic for the Newtina Christmas Exchange, so here it is! Lyrics from the songs If I Could Tell Her and Only Us (from the musical Dear Evan Hansen) are italicized. Enjoy!

_He said_

_There's nothing like your smile_

_Sort of subtle and perfect and real_

_He said You never knew how wonderful_

_That smile could make someone feel_

~~~~~~~~~

Newt's POV

Not again. The attempt to reinstate my travel permit was denied for the fourth time, and I had begun to lose hope of ever seeing Tina Goldstein. Her picture in January's paper haunted me as the weeks passed by. I made Tina a promise, one I intended to keep no matter how long it took. I would personally deliver her a copy of my book. I just hoped it wouldn't be too late.

Taking a deep breath, I sighed as I caught a glimpse of Tina's face. Her cheeks weren't pink like they were that day on the docks. No, this photograph was an injustice. As thankful as I was to have a reminder of her, there were so many things the picture simply couldn't capture. Like the way the edge of her lips twitched when she smirked. Or how her eyes deepened the happier she became. There was so much to uncover within Tina, and I wanted to explore her world just like I would with any other creature.

Yet I stood in my basement, staring at Tina's photo. If I could talk to her at the moment, what would I say? 'I'm sorry', even though I hadn't the faintest idea what I had done to scare Tina away. Perhaps she had other reasons for not writing back, but I had a feeling that whatever it was had to do with my book release. After all, the letters had stopped coming nearly a week afterwards. Had Tina decided she no longer wanted to be friends with a Magizoologist? Were her coworkers giving her flack for it? Whatever the reason, I longed for any sign of Tina's presence. Life hadn't been the same since I left New York, and I had a feeling that things were about to shift once more.

What would it take for me to get back on speaking terms with Tina? I had considered the possibility of us being more than friends, but that didn't seem probable at the moment. Unfortunately, I continued to go through days where I wished she were here with me in London. I'd invite her if she weren't in the habit of ignoring my letters. Who was I kidding? I could barely look her in the eye, let alone have a decent conversation with her. Why did I think I could be open about my feelings for Ms. Goldstein? I've heard it said that acting on internal desires can often lead to fulfillment or regret. I could only hope the latter wouldn't be true if I ever plucked up the courage to… well, you know…

~~~~~~~~~~

_If I could tell her_

_Tell her everything I see_

_If I could tell her_

_How she's everything to me_

_But we're a million worlds apart_

_And I don't know how I would even start_

_If I could tell her_

_If I could tell her_

~~~~~~~~~~

Tina's POV

It had been four months since that night in Père Lachaise. Four months since Grindelwald escaped yet again, since Leta sacrificed herself to help us escape. But most importantly, four months since Queenie had joined the darkest wizard ever known to man. I was at a loss for words, and the weeks that passed by did little to ease the pain. What must have been going through Queenie’s mind for her to have made a decision like that? There were so many possibilities—every one of them more appalling than the last— and somehow I blamed myself.

I blamed myself because I should’ve made better decisions. Sure, I had tried to keep her from seeing Jacob, and I stood by my decision wholeheartedly at the time. After all, I was only trying to protect them, to protect Queenie from getting thrown in jail. As much as I loved my job, I knew how ruthless MACUSA officials could be. They had no sympathy in matters like this.

But I should’ve done more to stop her. I should’ve spent more time with her, should’ve screamed at Jacob not to let her go or...

There was no use now. Queenie was gone, and I doubted even she knew whether or not she was coming back. It was hard to tell. Fortunately Newt’s kept me busy.

Ever since that terrible night, we’ve been picking up the pieces and shoving them below the surface again and again. No one dares to speak of it for fear of reawakening the nightmares. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed someone to lean on. With Queenie no longer by my side, I felt alone and more misunderstood than ever before. When would my attempts to help another actually succeed?

Meanwhile, Newt grieved over the loss of his childhood friend. It wasn’t open in the manner that his brother was accustomed to, yet it was his way of coping. Even in my own bubble of misery, I could tell that he needed someone to lean on, too. So many of us were left scarred, and we wanted to be there for one another. But how could we do that when we could barely take care of ourselves? I suppose we could lean on one another for support, allowing the pain to pour from one broken body to the next. It wasn’t the best solution, but it was better than nothing.

~~~~~~~~~

_I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you_

_I don't need you to search for the proof that I should_

_You don't have to convince me_

_You don't have to be scared you're not enough_

_'Cause what we've got going is good_

_I don't need more reminders of all that's been broken_

_I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget_

_Clear the slate and start over_

_Try to quiet the noises in your head_

_We can't compete with all that_

~~~~~~~~~

In light of all that had happened recently, I wished Newt would be more open with me. With every passing day came new challenges and difficulties; we needed to lean on each other. These last few months had been unbearable, yet it seemed like we were finally numb to the pain. We had felt too much for too long, and now we had only the knowledge of the unthinkable events. Despite that, Newt and I were determined to move forward.

There hadn’t been much to say in the days following Leta’s death. A memorial service was put together by Newt's parents, and a small group of us mourned the loss. I tried my best to be there for Newt just as he tried to be there for his brother Theseus. We all had a lot on our minds that week. Since then, things have returned to normal. Well, as normal as they could be with an extremely dark wizard at large.

Nothing would ever be the same, that much I knew. Yet wasn't life always full of unexpected twists and turns? Leta's death impacted Newt greatly; I felt him becoming more and more withdrawn every day. My own thoughts and emotions were often directed towards Queenie, not to mention Credence and the impending search for Grindelwald. There was so much at stake, and I felt helpless.

Thankfully, the weeks passed by and I clung to Newt just as he clung to me. I'd had to return to New York after a while, but our correspondence continued through letters. Much like before, but with a more positive outcome. The two of us had finally put the past where it belonged and worked towards a new future together. A future where concerns would be voiced and feelings would be validated. After all, who knows what tomorrow will bring? Might as well live in the present and make the most of every moment because you never know if it'll be your last.

~~~~~~~~

3rd POV

Picture it. Two lovers working on assignments at home in separate offices. Not because they couldn't stand to be in the other's presence, but because one of them had a harder time concentrating when the other was in the same room as them. Newt Scamander found the ever beautiful Porpentina to be very much of a distraction whenever he needed to work on something at home. He didn’t blame her for it, yet there was a sense of obligation to admire her beauty in every moment. After all, Grindelwald’s crimes against anyone who stood in his way were as dangerous as ever, and there wasn’t much spare time for Newt or Tina to enjoy the other’s presence. That’s why both of them (Newt especially) loved after-work hours. He could watch Tina brush stray hairs out of her face and bite her lip out of a mixture of frustration and determination. The previously unspoken couple had since admitted their feelings for one another, which led to their current living situation.

A little over two years had passed since the rally at Père Lachaise. Newt and Tina shared a place in London, and they were as happy as they could be with a war raging around them. Domestic life wasn’t a strong suit for either of them, yet they managed to make the most of it. Each spent their day working for the Ministry—Tina on Theseus’ task force and Newt on whatever special assignment he had been given to aid in Grindelwald's defeat. At night, they came together for dinner and brief conversations. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

Newt smiled as he stood in the doorway of Tina’s home office. She scribbled notes and suggestions based off of the latest attack, her shoulders hunched and nose nearly brushing the edge of the parchment. Sometimes there was no telling when Tina would call it a night; her work often led her to stay up late following leads. Yet she always managed to spare a moment for Newt and his creatures, which reminded her that life existed outside of work. For now, however, work was what paid the bills and allowed the wizarding world to be one step closer to defeating Grindelwald and his regime.

Tina’s desk was modest, and stacks of papers neatly lined the sides of the desk. It was clearly well-organized, although just as worn-in as her desk at the Ministry. Both were much cleaner than the desk in a large closet that Newt liked to call his office. Back when both desks were in one room, the sight of Newt’s workstation would vex Tina terribly due to its constant disorganization. She offered to straighten it up for him one night, but the next morning revealed her efforts were in vain.

“Tina, where are my notes on a new habitat for the graphorns?”

“They’re in the second drawer, third folder.”

“And the sketches as well?”

“First drawer, fourth folder.”

Tina tried to pretend she couldn’t hear Newt sigh.

Life wasn't easy; it never would be. But at least they had each other, and somehow, that was enough.


End file.
